Aside from being super, uber creepy somedays - #Facebook kills it with it's Memories feature. I don't usually check my socials first thing in the morning. (I prefer not to get sucked into other people's opinions before I've decided on my own.) But today, Alex brought me coffee in bed, in my favorite mug. It was one of those "Can't uncross my eyes" mornings as I tried to drag my brain out of the sleep fog. I knew this called for desperate measures. I reached over, dipped my fingers into my hot cup of coffee and flicked it all over my face. This is just how I live, friends. #success
It was great for a laugh, which is really the actual best way to wake up. Feeling saucy, I checked my accounts while I sipped the rest of my #covefe, still tucked into my covers and pillows. Facebook Memories showed me that a year ago today, Alex and I were out on Lovewell Lake testing out our boat to make sure it ran before we listed it for sale. I remember the day vividly because it's the day we decided we would move to being full-time musicians.
We took the boat out and it fired right up. We cut through the waves over to the south side of the lake. It was hot. We sat in the sun and listened to the water lap at the sides of the boat. I love that sound. The hollow slap and splash music of summer. I could feel the heat on my skin, almost uncomfortable, but not enough to risk moving into the shade. We talked about our Deliberate Kin experience so far and what the rest of the summer looked like and how, GOSH, we were just so darn happy doing this music thing. It was a revelation day. A moment where you realize just exactly how important something is. You know when you have a cold? You can't breathe out of ANYTHING and life is terrible? Then out of the blue one nostril opens up and you BREATHE, and I mean breathe hard. And suddenly you want to do everything over, like eat lunch and smell your flowers because you CAN and it's so very much better now that you can breathe. HOW DID I NOT APPRECIATE THIS BEFORE NOW, I NEED THIS TO LIVE!?!? It was one of those moments...just with music.
We grabbed a flotation device and a cold beverage and hopped into the cool water. It was a wake-up call that washed the heat away from my skin, shocked my bones and made me gasp. It was in that cold water, drifting alongside a boat we were about to sell, that a spark caught. What had been idle speculation or out-of-reach dreams before, now came into focus. Well...what if we sold it ALL? What if we DID make music our livelihood instead of something that we just extra? Just like that, we were off and planning. Not dreaming. Not wishing. PLANNING. What was our next right thing? Dear gawd, don't tell anyone else yet! Nope. Protect it. Keep it safe until we feel more confident about our course. The joy I felt at pursuing my oldest dream put a crack in my dull exterior that afternoon. The blazing June sun couldn't hold a candle to the hope that had just planted itself firmly in my heart. I was finally going to be a professional musician and I was getting to do it with the most cherished people in my world - my husband and my two precious girls. I aligned that day with who I had always been, but never allowed myself to be. I have never felt more powerful or peaceful in my entire life. I wish that feeling for every single person, every single day. What a rush.
We packed up all too soon and headed back to the docks. The wind whipped past my face drying the water that lingered there and as we opened the boat up wide, it felt like we might actually lift off the water. I still can't tell you whether the power from the motor or the energy of our new found hope made us feel like we were flying. It didn't matter. We flew just the same, racing back to the shore to get this show on the road. Without doubting any of it, we knew it was time. We weren't ready but we didn't need to be. The knowing was enough that day.
One year later, we are packing for our first 3 week tour. We have a touring van and we are selling our home and land and preparing to live full-time on the road as musicians. So very much has come together for this to be happening. We've put in over a year of hustle and indecision and worry, peppered with guilt and second-guessing. That time also held the highest highs and lowest lows both in business and family life. We've never been more happy being uncomfortable in our entire lives. Our entire family came into their strengths over the last 15 months. So as I count our merch and figure out how to live with one pillow, I'm so stinking #thankful. For everything. For grief and challenges and loss. For life, for music, for family and for you. YOU. Our deep and meaningful connections with all of you are what make this so darn perfect. Our friend and kindred, Elexa Dawson says it best. Music is medicine. Read it again. #musicismedicine How honored we are to be a part of an ancient tradition of healing and connection. Just, wow, y'all.
Last June we were floating on the water, unsure of our direction or our purpose. This June a treasured friend thanked us for being an #anchor for musicians in North Central Kansas and for our determination to show everyone that this life is definitely worth a living. Talk about a 180. From being tossed in the storm to being a safe place for others in the same storm. I'm so grateful to hear words like that. I hope it's our legacy one day. What greater purpose exists in life than to serve and shelter others in safety and love? So thank you. THANK YOU for allowing us the space to dream and grow and fly! We are more nervous than we'd care to admit and more ready than we've ever been. We hit the road Thursday. Please take a drive and come see us or send your friends our way. It would be our great pleasure to entertain you all.
Cheers, Kinfolk. Here we go.